The other day I went to the cafeteria to get my once in a while ham and bacon omelet.\u00a0 When I got there, they had “updated” everything.\u00a0 Instead of talking to someone to make your order, you use a little touch screen kiosk to send it back to the grill.\u00a0 That way, you don’t have to actually talk to someone I guess.\u00a0 Yay, technology.<\/p>\n
I decided to go ahead and give it a try.\u00a0 I found that they still offered omelets, so I clicked on the omelet to customize it.\u00a0 They had egg whites, good.\u00a0 Next step, meat.\u00a0 Where is the ham and bacon…ham and bacon…ham and bacon?\u00a0 No ham or bacon.\u00a0 No piggy meats at all.\u00a0 Chicken sausage?\u00a0 No ham?\u00a0 No bacon?\u00a0 Wait, what does that say…turkey bacon?<\/p>\n
There is no such thing as turkey bacon.\u00a0 It is either turkey or it is bacon.\u00a0 We can make technological advances so we don’t ever need to talk to someone face to face but I’m pretty sure we haven’t figured out how to cross-breed a turkey with a pig.\u00a0 Turkey bacon is not bacon in any way.\u00a0 It is dried out, wooden turkey flesh made to resemble a sad, sick looking strip of bacon.\u00a0 Call it something else, turkey flat slabs or whatever…they have turkey jerky, and that’s okay…at least you know what it is.\u00a0 Calling something turkey bacon makes you think it could maybe taste a little like bacon, but no.\u00a0 I call you a liar.\u00a0 Turkey bacon is an abomination, a sick twisted farce of everything that makes breakfast worth eating.<\/p>\n
I leave you with this.\u00a0 If you asked for a ham sandwich and someone slipped you a turkey sandwich, how would you feel?\u00a0 Betrayed?\u00a0 Angry?\u00a0 What if the person who glibly handed off a turkey sandwich then told you that turkey is healthier for you or that it tastes pretty much the same?\u00a0 I rest my case.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The other day I went to the cafeteria to get my once in a while ham and bacon omelet.\u00a0 When I got there, they had “updated” everything.\u00a0 Instead of talking to someone to make your order, you use a little … Continue reading